If you are caring for a parent, you probably know the feeling: you love them, you want to keep going, and you are running on empty. You may have a work trip you keep postponing, a surgery of your own you have put off, or simply not slept a full night in months. Respite care exists for exactly this moment.
This guide explains what respite care is, the different forms it takes, the signs it is time to use it, and how to plan a short stay so it goes smoothly for everyone.
What respite care is
Respite care is short-term care for an older adult so that the person who usually cares for them can take a break. The National Institute on Aging describes respite as short-term relief for primary caregivers, whether for a few hours, a weekend or several weeks.
The break can be planned, such as a vacation or a family wedding, or it can be needed suddenly, such as when the caregiver gets sick or is called away. Either way, the goal is the same: your parent is safe and cared for, and you get time to rest, recover or handle the rest of your life.
The main types of respite care
Respite comes in several forms, and many families use more than one over time.
In-home respite
A paid aide, a trusted friend or a volunteer comes to the house for a few hours or a full day. This works well when your parent is comfortable at home and you need a regular afternoon off, or a few hours to run errands.
Adult day programs
Adult day programs offer supervision, meals and activities during weekday hours, often in a community center or senior center. Your parent comes home each evening. These programs suit caregivers who work during the day.
Short-term residential stays
Your parent stays for a set number of days or weeks in an assisted living or memory care community, with a furnished room, meals and around-the-clock help. This is the option most families choose when they need to travel, recover from their own illness, or take a real break rather than a few hours.
Many families also use a short residential stay in two other ways:
- Recovery after a hospital stay. When a parent is well enough to leave the hospital but not ready to manage alone at home, a few weeks with meals, help with daily tasks and medication support can bridge the gap.
- A trial before a permanent move. A respite stay lets your parent experience daily life in a community, meet people and try the dining room before anyone makes a long-term decision.
Signs it may be time to use respite care
Most caregivers wait too long to ask for help. The Alzheimer's Association lists warning signs of caregiver stress such as exhaustion, irritability, sleeplessness and pulling away from friends, and suggests talking with a doctor if they show up regularly. Signs worth paying attention to include:
- You feel exhausted most days, even after sleep
- You are getting sick more often, or putting off your own medical care
- You feel irritable, tearful or resentful, and then guilty about it
- You have stopped seeing friends or doing anything for yourself
- Your work, marriage or children are taking a hit
- You have an upcoming trip, procedure or family event and no backup plan
- You worry about what would happen to your parent if you suddenly could not be there
If several of these sound familiar, a break is not a luxury. It is part of keeping care going for the long run.
Respite care for a parent with dementia
Respite matters even more when your parent is living with Alzheimer's disease or another dementia, because caregiving can stretch over years and the needs grow over time. It also takes a little more planning, since changes in routine can be unsettling.
If your parent has memory loss, look for a respite setting with:
- A secured memory care area, so your parent can move around safely
- Staff trained in dementia care who know how to reassure and redirect
- A steady daily routine with meals, activities and rest at predictable times
- A team willing to learn your parent's habits, preferences and calming strategies before arrival
Our guide to assisted living vs. memory care explains the difference between the two settings if you are not sure which fits.
How families pay for respite care
Costs vary widely by type of respite and by location, so ask each provider for its current rates in writing and what is included. A few things to know:
- Residential respite in assisted living is usually paid privately. Medicare does not cover custodial care, which is help with daily activities such as bathing and dressing, according to Medicare.gov.
- Skilled rehab is different. If your parent needs skilled nursing or therapy after a hospital stay, that is care in a skilled nursing facility. Medicare Part A may cover it after a qualifying inpatient stay of at least three days, per Medicare.gov's skilled nursing facility page (checked November 2026). Ask the hospital discharge planner which level of care your parent needs.
- Hospice has its own respite benefit. If your parent is enrolled in hospice, ask the hospice team about short inpatient respite stays under the Medicare hospice benefit, as described on Medicare.gov's hospice page.
- Local programs may help. Area Agencies on Aging and some Alzheimer's Association chapters offer caregiver support programs, and availability and rules vary. Confirm details directly with each program or a benefits counselor.
For our community, respite is private pay, and our current rates are published on our rates and floor plans page. Our guide to paying for senior living explains common ways families plan for the cost of care.
Where to find respite help in Memphis
- Aging Commission of the Mid-South. The Shelby County Area Agency on Aging connects families with caregiver support services through its Information and Assistance line, listed on the Shelby County Government website.
- Alzheimer's Association 24/7 Helpline. The Alzheimer's Association runs a free helpline, open around the clock, for care consultation and help finding local caregiver programs.
- ARCH National Respite Locator. The ARCH National Respite Network keeps a searchable directory of respite providers by state.
How to plan a respite stay that goes smoothly
A little preparation makes the first stay easier for your parent and gives you real peace of mind while you are away.
- Call early. Popular dates, such as holidays, fill up, so ask about availability a few weeks ahead when you can.
- Ask about the minimum and maximum length of stay, and what happens if you need to extend.
- Expect a health assessment before arrival. Licensed communities review care needs and medications first.
- Bring an up-to-date medication list and your parent's doctor and pharmacy contacts.
- Write a one-page "about me": daily routine, favorite foods, what calms them, what upsets them, and what they like to be called.
- Pack familiar things: a favorite blanket, family photos, a well-loved chair cushion or radio.
- Label clothing and bring enough for the full stay.
- Agree on how and when the team will update you while you are away.
- Plan a short, positive goodbye, and try not to linger.
- Use the time for yourself. Rest is the point.
It is normal for a parent to need a day or two to settle in. Ask the team how your parent is doing rather than assuming the first phone call tells the whole story.
Respite stays at The Pointe at Kirby Gate
The Pointe at Kirby Gate is a family-owned assisted living and memory care community in East Memphis, next to Germantown. Respite guests stay in a furnished private suite with three meals a day, housekeeping, help with daily needs and the same activity calendar our residents enjoy. Guests living with dementia stay in our secured memory care neighborhood.
Stays have a five-night minimum and typically run up to about 30 days, with longer stays by arrangement. Every guest completes a brief health assessment with our nursing team before arrival. You can see how it works and request dates on our respite care page.
Take the break you need
Asking for help does not mean you are giving up on caring for your parent. It means you are making sure you can keep doing it. If you would like to talk through a respite stay, call us at (901) 753-3449 or schedule a visit, and we will help you find dates that work.
This article is general information, not medical, legal or financial advice.
